I have to admit, this was the first post I was hesitant to put up on my blog. I wrote the below yesterday and wanted to think twice prior to making this permanent internet material. I am grateful that I had my surgery and thankful for all it has taught/teaching me. My life has improved because of it but I want to make sure that people understand this its only a tool and nothing more. The real change exists within the small choices I make everyday. I have learned that each choice, all be it small at the time has a major compound effect that will produce long lasting results overtime. The results however have the ability to be positive or negative. So here is what I was originally apprehensive to share…
Where have the last two weeks gone? Scratch that… Where have the last 10.5 months gone? Today this post is all about honesty. For the first time last night I found myself avoiding the truth with regard to a choice that I made about changing my life. I am not ashamed of the fact that I had medical weight loss surgery. I don’t think it’s been the biggest reason for my success to date, I view it as a tool that has contributed. I think many people view this option as an easy way out or a “lazy” approach to losing weight. When people often find out that I have lost over 200 pounds the first question is always the same. “Did you have surgery?” Then it seems to be followed with an “Oh – that’s why” those words are rarely said but often felt with a simple reaction to the answer of the initial question.
I work hard, very hard to make my change on a physical and mental level. I continuously push my limits and re-evaluate my overall journey to make sure I continue on the right path for me. It’s a process that is needed to have continued success. To be honest I think this connotation that weight loss surgery is the easy way out has fueled me to only work harder. Truth be told the surgery has had a major impact on me, but I can’t give it all the credit. Anyone who has a form of weight loss surgery will lose weight. Weight loss is only a part of the overall goal of having weight loss surgery. I can quickly find myself in a fast food drive thru drinking a gallon of soda accompanied with cheeseburgers and fries three or four times a day. That’s not me anymore and I have chosen to never again live that life. The mental approach is the toughest portion, it’s difficult to not see myself as the “BIG GUY” – I still have urges to eat more than is needed and cravings for foods that hold no nutritional value whatsoever, I am not sure that will ever change but being able to manage that mentally has been the toughest battle. It’s one that I will fight the rest of my life. Please don’t interpret this as me down playing the fact that I had weight loss surgery, because that is not what I am doing. There is certainly a part of me that gets somewhat frustrated with the connotation that it’s the easy way out and the only person that I need to prove anything to is…. myself and I am doing that each and every morning I wake up.. one day…one choice… one ounce at a time.
Part of losing a large amount of weight is excess skin… so in the spirit of honesty here are some photos of me from last night with no compression fitted clothing. I normally wear a compression shirt every day – as it makes me feel more comfortable. I get the lose skin question a lot so I thought I would share this… I am not to sure how I feel about going topless for all of you though ;)!
- 214.4 lbs. lost
- 95% to my weight loss goal.
- 47% of total body weight lost