Mental game – its not just a golf thing! MILESTONE :Weigh In Update

First things first – In just under nine months I have been able to lose just over 200 pounds.  Life has a funny way of putting things into perspective.  This last week was by far the most difficult week I have gone through in some amount of time. Mentally, I think I was drained, exhausted and overwhelmed. I had planned to run a half marathon on Saturday but decided to take some medical advice and take a few days off. My knee has been acting up and I had some bruising and it was starting to concern me. To prevent further damage I walked away from something that I said I would do for the first time since this journey started. I think that the whole week I knew that I was not going to be able to do this but wanted to complete it so badly I told myself that the knee would be “ok”.  For the first time since I started working out with FNS I took three days off and it seemed like an eternity.  While I am not 100%, I still feel better and that is what is important – I will work around this to not let it stop me in my tracks but rather provide a different path. 

Over the course of this weekend my mind went into a whirl wind of emotions. I knew that I had had some slip ups with the food plan earlier in the week (shared a piece of cake on Valentine’s Day).  I became fixated on any little moment of weakness and quickly forgot about all the other work I have been putting in. I was fearful that I was going to hit a stall again. I have been there and it’s a place I don’t look forward to being in again. I feel like I have a plan that will prevent it but when I was told to take 72 hours away from the anything that could make it worse that scared me! You have to realize that breaks from physical activity have not been my strong point. I often work out daily if not twice a day and when that doesn’t happen it makes me nervous that I will not achieve what I set out to achieve.  Mentally I had already thrown in the towel on this weigh in. I had thought to myself that I was not going to reach my goal of 250 pounds this week. Mentally, I had given up!  I stepped on the scale this morning to be greeted with the number 248.6 pounds, far exceeding my goal and especially my new found expectations.  

I learned something about myself this weekend.  I need to be “ok” with taking time away from the gym and trust that what I am doing is working. The scale is not and never will be what defines me. I have learned this lesson before, but perhaps when I get close to a significant milestone I forget what I already know.  I will have moments of weakness, when they happen revaluate what led to that decision.  While a piece of cake that I shared with my wife on Valentine’s Day might not have been the best of food choices, the time we spent together enjoying conversation was well worth the calories. I understand that I need those moments in life. For the first time I felt “normal” and not “crazy” about my diet and food decisions. I truly enjoyed that time we spent together alone. Those moments are far and few between with our two crazy kids! 

The past nine months have been amazing. The reality is I could not have come as far as I have with out the support and love from my best friend and love of my life.  When this process started, we had several conversations about how this isn’t going to be easy. It required that I become very selfish with my time. Meghan has never missed a beat, always supporting my crazy and lofty goals. She too has made significant changes in how she eats and exercises. No she is not as “hardcore” as I am, but I see the positive benefits of both our changes within her and it makes me the happiest man alive. Meghan, thank you for always supporting, not always understanding but never doubting. You have been there for me in my moments of strength and weakness. I love you with all my heart and look forward to hugging you as I cross the finish line of Wildflower in 72 days! 

Until Next Time – Warrior, Training for Wildflower

Mario