I found myself at the circus this weekend celebrating my sons potty training accomplishments (my o’ my how life has changed)! I was given tickets by my lovely work to the wonderful suite that came with temptations from the food devil. We were the first to the suite and the door was unlocked, as the door opened and the light shined in there it sat laid across the table was a spread made in a fat man’s dreams! Cookies, chips, dip, popcorn, fruit platter, chocolate covered toffee, mac and cheese and hotdogs. I think that there was a veggie platter as well but the blinding glare of junk food blurred the image of celery and carrots from my view. I knew that when I walked in I was in trouble! In fact I tried to plan for this earlier in the day by limiting my calories and drinking lots of water but my mind was not prepared for what the next two hours had in store! I have to say that I am disappointed at the fact that I ate things that I knew I shouldn’t have, I indulged on the chips, popcorn and even had some candy. I realized one thing, that I am not yet prepared to put myself in a closed environment with these types of temptations. It’s been close to 12 weeks since my surgery and this was the first time I felt like I had eaten things that I would regret later. This became a reality as I was shoving chips in my mouth watching the trainers parade the elephants around on the stage… That made me put those chips down quick!
I have thought a lot about what took place for me in that suite and learned some thing’s about myself that I now feel are important. My self-control issue will always exist and I have to better prepare for moments or events like these. The truth is the old me would have walked in that suite grabbed a plate put two hotdogs on it and loaded up! I would have probably consumed close to 5,000 calories and not thought twice about it. I am happy to say that didn’t happen, but it would have had I not had my ace of spades up my sleeve. I did eat more than I would have liked to, enough to regret it anyway. It was not long and I found myself full and almost to the point of being uncomfortable. The VSG surgery has helped me when I was not ready to help myself and for that I am grateful. That night we went home put the kids to sleep and I kissed my wife good night and made my trek to the fat man torture zone or as some people call it the gym. I put in a great workout and thought long and hard about what had happened that day. I needed this reality check. I know that it’s going to show up on the results of my weight in this week. A week that is very important to me because I planned to hit my first major goal. Failure is not an option, I might experience setbacks such as these along the way but how I bounce back will define me as a person. If I end up one pound shy of my goal for this week, I know I will be filled with anger at myself for making this mistake. The anger will turn to sadness and in the past that moment of sadness would have been accompanied with a trip to a Drive – Thru and the good news is that is what has changed!
Until Next Time – Warrior in Training
Tomorrow is weigh in day!